The only thing I can't help but do is wonder. Everything is so vague and it's annoying. I sometimes think I know exactly what I think. But then I feel as if I know nothing. I get so mad at myself for falling so fast and hard. I put all my eggs in one basket. I don't even know how it happened.
I have this love hate relationship with myself. I want to be real and put myself in a good place. Being honest and a decent person. Now here I am. Wishing I hadn't because frankly, I have no idea how he feels about me.
I so miss my cat. I never thought I would say that but I feel that she's still here and when I look for her, I can't find her. It's upsetting.
I recently went and got extensions. The extensions only last a wopping 4 days. Something that was supposed to last up to 3 months only stayed in for 4 days. Holy cow. I hated looking at myself in a mirror. When you really don't have a clue who you are, don't think a set of hair will make you feel better. Well hey, it's a lesson I had to learn the hard way, I guess. Hair doesn't make a woman. It brought me down.
I have this theory. When I have my short hair, I feel confident, pretty and... "out of their league?" I don't know how else to describe it. With longer hair, I feel like I attract the "bro's" and the boys. The boys that have no clue what they're getting themselves into. They can't keep up and they want to play games. Ew. I also feel like the boys that say they want to see me with long hair are the guys that will never last. Do you know just how amazing us women can be?
I'm starting to think it's a power- struggle type thing. This bad- ass chick has short as hell hair. She really doesn't care what anyone thinks about her, she has a self- esteem and can hold her own. Can't win with her... might as well pray on the weak ones then.
Just a theory I'm starting to develop. It also is a generation thing I think as well. Cultural? Hm... more work to be done!
I go now. Tata!
Angela
