Sad.

I can keep busy all day, but when you have to come home to go to bed... It hits.

I really wonder if there is someone that is your soul mate. What if the one person that got away, reallllyy truly was the one.

I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't sit in my skin.

I find myself having an inner battle. I want to sit around and pretend like I don't care. But I'm too much of an honest person to allow myself to play games. I can't be harsh and cruel to people I care about. Don't get me wrong, I don't allow myself to be taken advantage of. Honestly, it might be considered taking advantage of you. But I can't ignore people the way I used to. I have too much respect for people. I'm trying to change the world one person at a time.

I feel sick.

I hate being ignored. I can deal with everyone having the spotlight, everyday. But my birthday is pretty friggin special to me. I keep thinking how I'm going to lose it this year. I don't know if I can keep it together. When you have life you are so grateful for, and the one person you want to acknowledge you DOESNT... I draw the line. Tomorrow is February 13th. The eve of the 2nd most special day to me. I can spread my cheer to everyone... But I can't make people do something. Gosh, I really hope this plays out the way I want it to.

Sick of sitting, waiting, wishing. I'm not looking. Just hopeful.

I'll always have Italy. :)

Tata
Angela

Heart.

Know that when you leave.

By blood and by mean you walk like a thief.

You're the reason why I'm closed.

I just lost my breath. A gasp of shock but a choke on air.

It takes 5 years to understand exactly what you need in life. By you, I mean me. I think I'll never get over this bitterness. How long does it take for you to be over me? RHETORICAL. Apparently, weeks. I don't want anyone to pity me. This isn't the point of this blog. But.. WHAT THE FUCK.

Everyday I just go through the motions and think to myself, "You don't even think about me."

Very sad, indeed. I think you just may be toxic. You are the suffering in life that I have to endure. I can't undue what I have done. I think the sick to my stomach feeling must be a sign that I have to suffer to get out the toxins. You are seeping through my pores. I can not think of you and be happy. You make me sick. Sick enough to live with this.

Regret?
Not sure.

My heart stopped.

Today can end already. It's one day closer to my birthday. A day when I will be the most selfish and happy for myself. A day that I will not think of you. Or any other person wasting my time.

It's not about you anymore.

Team Jacob.

BOOM!
ANGELA OUT.

(tata!)