Sad.

I can keep busy all day, but when you have to come home to go to bed... It hits.

I really wonder if there is someone that is your soul mate. What if the one person that got away, reallllyy truly was the one.

I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't sit in my skin.

I find myself having an inner battle. I want to sit around and pretend like I don't care. But I'm too much of an honest person to allow myself to play games. I can't be harsh and cruel to people I care about. Don't get me wrong, I don't allow myself to be taken advantage of. Honestly, it might be considered taking advantage of you. But I can't ignore people the way I used to. I have too much respect for people. I'm trying to change the world one person at a time.

I feel sick.

I hate being ignored. I can deal with everyone having the spotlight, everyday. But my birthday is pretty friggin special to me. I keep thinking how I'm going to lose it this year. I don't know if I can keep it together. When you have life you are so grateful for, and the one person you want to acknowledge you DOESNT... I draw the line. Tomorrow is February 13th. The eve of the 2nd most special day to me. I can spread my cheer to everyone... But I can't make people do something. Gosh, I really hope this plays out the way I want it to.

Sick of sitting, waiting, wishing. I'm not looking. Just hopeful.

I'll always have Italy. :)

Tata
Angela

Weeks.

There's something sexy about a car. Wouldn't you say? I love a sexy sexy muscle car. MMmmMmMmmmm...


Always been a Camaro girl at heart. You bet. 1969 was the BEST year for cars. So amazing to look at the Chevelles, Camaros and Chargers. Sexiness in a hood. MmMmmmmMmMmmm...

On that note! Who's going to the Auto show this year?! I ammmmm!!! I can't wait. I hope I'm in a magazine. That would be awesome! :D

I've been having some bizaaaaar dreams. Wheelchairs, pork chops and being homeless? Weird?

Homeless
To dream that you are homeless indicates that you are feeling insecure. You are unsure of yourself and where you are headed.

Wuh oh. That can't be good. But I woke up feeling so happy and excited to start the day. Weird... Maybe it means I don't know where I'm headed with my love life? eh? eh? That is a mystery. Considering I am in no way, shape, form able to understand what I need/want, how am I capable of loving again? RHETORICAL. (Per usual.)

Pork

To see or eat pork in your dream signifies your desire for routine and normalcy. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on overspending.

Well, that makes sense. I don't feel normal at all. I can't get a normal routine in work or life. Which I'm okay with, maybe one day of the week. Plus, I am overspending. But! It's my birthday (week), dammit! I deserve it! RIGHT!?!

The whole wheelchair dream, I can begin to guess what that means. We'll just leave that alone. :)

I have to drink the rest of this wine and take a bath. It's a necessity. HELLOOOOOOOO.

Tata!
Angela

P.S. I love you.


You might think that I'm crazy.
But you know I'm just your type.
There's a spark in between us.
You feel like paradise.
Hold it against me.

Secrets. Secrets.

Secrets secrets are lots of fun, but should you tell anyone?

My current dilemma in life.

It's funny, the deeper the secret, the more I don't want to tell anyone. I can't tell if it's a good thing or not. Secrets are usually secrets for a reason. But I feel like secrets are always something you want to share. Is it to compare stories so that you don't feel bad in any way? Or maybe to help someone rationalize your thinking? Could be. Anyone else? I know I can't be alone.

I find myself noticing things. Is it coincidence? I don't think so. I feel like I'm getting indirect messages. I can't be insane. I can't stand guessing and waiting and hoping. I'm pretty sure I'm right about this one. Moving on!

How does everyone feel about dreams? My dreams are crazy lately! What the heck does it mean!! Wait, i think it all makes sense now.. Bizaaaaar.

Any people that are superstitious? This is the meaning on this blog. All about superstition and sublimmenal messages. Spelled that one wrong. Oh well!

I'll edit this later! :) Enter sandman.

Tata!
Angela

Game on.

I smiled a lot today. There's no way someone (especially a man) is going to put me down. Game on, baby. Game on.

What I love about men, and hate. They're oblivious. I know us chicks can over-analyze and be a crazed female. But I know you're playing games with me. As much as I hate playing them (sometimes) you're gonna get it right back. Starting now. I think I made myself pretty clear in previous conversations and blogs, I won't play them. I think my honesty really was stated the entire time. So I hope you're happy. :) I know I am.

By the way, you know the deal. You know what you have to do.

Birthday plans are boomin'! I'm so excited for all the yummies! Can't wait to eat and drink and be merry! So curious what will happen with Valentine's Day as well. I better have some secret admirers! ;) By secret admirers, I mean my best friends sending eachother flowers and cards. :) Kind of...

Is everyone feeling okay? I have been consistantly sick for about...3? months?

Sucks, so anyways. Let's chat!

Romance is on the brain!

I've noticed that chivalry (gallant warriors or gentlemen) is dead. Anyone else feeling that way? I find it hard to find a gentleman. Sad. Chicks notice this. Maybe I'm just too southern for you northern people. Or maybe I should look for a latino. They seem to excel in romance and etc. 0:D Or maybe just an older guy? I'm thinking my cap is 30. I think thats reasonable. I am going to be 23 this year. So... what does everyone think? I don't want to get married, fyi. Just looking to be swept is all. If someone can change my mind, I might accept this. :) CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

Superbowl, eh?

Didn't watch much. BUT! I did get a lot done. Including, getting my DRANK on. :)

Lets chat! :D I'm wide awake on my Saturday night.

Tata! Hasta Manana!

Angela


P.S. Where a girl loves a boy. And a boy loves a girl. La Isla Bonita

My Soul

What is it about the forbidden that make us want it more? Rhetorical. There's a few answers. The temptation just gets us. Everything is so much greener on the other side. I played my favorite game today.

What if.

What if we left? What if I really did win? What if I really did fall for you? What if you really loved me? What if I got married? What if you never heard from me again? What if she doesn't...

What if you were mine? What if I was yours?

Enough!

I don't have much to talk about anymore. My hair is green. It's finally getting longer. I think I'll just keep letting it grow until it doesn't grow anymore. Sound like a plan? That's all I got. I can hardly keep my eyes open. Wish me luck that I can actually sleep now...

Tata
Angela




I can't sleep, I can't speak to you, I can't sleep.

Crack.

Split. Burst. Fall.

Love is fantastic. It makes it worth the heartache at the end. Or was that really love? Still waiting on the definition of love. I like using enamored. Or smitten. Smitten is so cute. It's like first love or love at first sight. :)

Valentine's Day gets me very excited. I hope everyone puts their heart into their love that day. I hope everyone feels loved and wanted. Everyone deserves to be loved, Valentine's Day could be the best day of the year to share how you really feel. Why don't people live with their heart on their sleeve everyday of the year? I love honesty. :)

How do you celebrate Valentine's Day?

How are men different from women? Besides the obvious sex difference. All day I wonder what if. It really isn't a fun game. I don't suggest it. I try to stay away from it but tend to go back. Lets just drop it.


This is my goodbye.
You can find out what you need.
I don't want to be with you.
Please don't hurt me now.
My heartbreaks whenever you are around.
I wanted to be with you forever.
In my heart I am yours forever.

Everyday its start to finish. Finish to start. It'll never change.

Tata...

Angela

Good one?

I just want to see. Someone give me a solution. I can't stand to be drifting anymore. I can't control everything. I don't want to control anything. It's funny that I drink and just can't escape thoughts. I find the tune out happening. I walk in the door and someone is asking me something, but I don't really hear it. What? Can't you see that I'm thinking?!

What did you say?

No, I'm not really listening. It's screaming and screaming in here. I'm sick of subsiding it and being so consumed in a thought. I don't really think this will last forever, but I'm starting to think I'm entitled to some selfish time in my head.


My lips are sealed.


I don't know how obvious we all are with our feelings. In general, I'm speaking. Do we all wear our hearts on our sleeves? I'm not really sure. I find it so hard to read people. Another thing, why do we need to read between lines? I feel like people should be a little more honest. What's wrong with honestly? Can't you just say what you are feeling? What happened to that? I know as a chick, most of us want to keep all our feelings on the inside and be so mysterious. But honestly, isn't that a bit cruel? Men are pretty oblivious. Kind of harsh. They are going with what you are saying and doing. Why are you making an underlying statement. Not a question.

Fricken World War 3 with these chicks. Some dudes as well. Lets not forget about the dudes.

Sleep time, You get me over here?

<3 Angela



You will forever be my forever.

I just wanna break you down so badly.
Well I trip over everything you say.
I just wanna break you down so badly.


P.S. Happy February. You know, I really want a good present for my birthday. Yeah, you.