Where are you?

No heels, no shirt,
no skirt.
I just wanna feel your
skin.


I literally said something out loud today
and I really really meant it.


"I'm too wild. No one can handle me."

Man, It's pretty true. I'm all over the place. I'm dealing with daily battles in life. Does everyone? Daily demons, temptation, the battle for good and evil? This all rings a bell right? I find a little lost. A little rambling and pacing. Pacing and repetition. I was actually wandering back and forth at work today. I'm sure I looked lost and confused. All because of thoughts...?

Everyone has their days, am I right? Maybe it was the caffeine overload. Nervous energy. Anyone deal with an addiction? Coffee, cigarettes, etc. Everyone's got their thing. I'm pretty sure of it. I guess that's just how the world goes. I don't think there's a problem with that either. No one is normal. Everyone has an ism or baggage. THAT'S THE TRUTH.

I'm turning to Shia for stability. My MeShia. <3
He can always make me feel sane for awhile. Brings me back to what a down to earth person can really be like. I just hope I can get past his recent crap and be happy watching him in a movie. Been awhile.


Wish me luck.

Ta ta!
Angela

Forget my name.

I had a bad ending to my day. A bad phone call.
And just like that. I'm back where I was. I'm trying not to get caught up in lost emotion. My emotion and mind are just flipping. Flipping and reeling through memories and old feelings. My comfort zone... is... being tampered with? My mind can't stop. PLEASE LET ME SLEEP.


Today could be a special day, but an unexpected event can't change everything. Please. Please. Take away this feeling and make me realize the bad and not regret my decision. Why can one person alter your life? For the good or the bad? Because I'm living for someone else? These thoughts are legit right?


One Eight Seven

The pain that breaks my heart. Each day. I'm not okay. Sunlight shining through my window. Lets me know that I'm still alive. Why did I ever let you inside my heart. I'm such a fool.


I'm not a jealous person. I feel like I'm the only. One and only. But that doesn't make me feel better. I feel like an idiot. I'm so glad that I'm not alone in this situation. Why do you feel not good enough then? Because I'm not the first. That's why. I can answer my own questions. Who is the first anymore nowadays?!?! RHETORICAL.

Tell me something good. Someone.

I need this pick me up. I'm in need of some sense. Please, make me feel normal again.


Until then,

Angela


---SHOT THROUGH MY HEART.--->
I will never ask. Why can't I feel anything for anyone other that youuuuu. And all of this was all your fault. I stay wrecked and jealous for this. For this simple reason and I just need to keep you in mind. As something larger than life.

I'm here.

Went back to my dark self today. But don't worry, I don't think it was a bad thing. Got a little hate in then spit (literally) and I was over it. I think a release is good for anger...right? Eh, who cares.

So, I'm staying a brunette. I have this great idea. And I think I'm going to see it through. I'll post about it when it's done. :)

Had a fantastic time last night. At the Blackhawks game. We won, I was on TV, got a free hat AND! saw Mikita! Didn't get an autograph but still pretty amazing! Then the very end of my night, it just got even better. :D

So new years is looking good! My Billy is DJing in Frankfort. I put in some requests and I think it'll be a great time! As long as I'm not sitting at home, being bored and lonely. Although today, my throat really started to feel swollen. That's not a good sign. Wuh oh. I've been exposed to too many people I definitely don't want something bad! Something that starts with an S!

Can't even think about it. Can't even think about it...

moving on...

Had a fantastic talk with a friend tonight. Really, quite refreshing. Made me very happy. Always feel like I can be myself around this friend. Caught up on eachother's lives, it was pretty awesome really. Nothing like a quality conversation to get you feeling great about your decisions. Everyone is so curious as to what happened. Which makes me feel good that they immediately know where I'm coming from. Seems like everyone just wants to be confirmed. As if they knew the answer but wanted to hear me say it. Which I'm cool with. It's totally fine. I'm pretty sure I've said some of the things I've already said. But actions speak louder than words. Right?



That's all I got.

Tata!

Angela



The situations are irrelevant now.
I love the girls who hate to love because they're just like me.
She licked her lips and pulled my hair I fall in love for a night.

I'm right but sometimes left.

Bare with me. I'm on my phone for this one. This weekend was very fun for me. To end it, I went to the blackhawks game. We were 16th row from the glass. :) jealous?

How was everyone's holiday? It went fast didn't it.

I found this great quote that I have to share with you all!


We're the perfect couple, we're just not in the perfect situation.

Pretty amazing, right? I couldn't believe i found a quote that meaningful. Timing is everything in life. That's a fact. So if the timing is so wrong, is this the wrong time? Maybe it's a sign. Maybe whatever part of the situation that's wrong, really needs to be fixed. In my mind, that didn't sound redundant. Sorry if it did.

The thing that I don't understand, nor want to think about is love. Love is all you need but there is no definitive answer in love. No one can really define it. Everyone has their own way of defining.

Love is patient... That's what I'm sticking to at this time in my life.

I had more to say but I just can't keep track of my thoughts. So I guess that means to shut it off tonight.

:)
Ta! Ta!
Angela

Fitting.

I got asked on a date. OOOOOOoOoOOOoOo!! Right?! Hahaha!

Can't say I didn't see it coming, though. Pretty excited actually. I will not reveal any other details. But lets just say he's pretty hot. :D


SO! What to talk about, now that I'm all giddy. :)

I can't believe there's no snow! Watching the news today I was SHOCKED that its going to be 40 degrees on Sunday. This is a joke right?

Had an up and down kind of day. Already edited this thing 2x. Which to be honest, I'm starting to think I need to stay away from technology. So what am I going to do? Take a break. I'm taking a break from texting, talking on the phone, going on facebook etc.. Starting tomorrow. I'm off. IM OFF.

Need to get my girlie on. So I think I'll change my hair and relax with the people I really love. Time to let go for a bit.

Tata!
Angela




A castle made of sand. Knock me down.

Chase the shadows.

How's it everyone?


Happy midweek! Can you believe in the 21st? Surely doesn't feel like it here! There's no snow on the ground! BOOOOOOOO.


Let's cut the small chat and get on to business.

I'm going to totally wing this right now. I don't have a set theme or life lesson to discuss tonight. Life is chuggin' along. Everyday is different and a surprise. This week, my patience are really spreading thin. Is that the right phrase? Looks weird. Anyways, I didn't have anytime off this week. Or weekend. Which, I was really loving at one point. But now I'm not seeing that green grass. It's not very green at all. Well, maybe the cash flow. :D

Okay, gotta spill it. I'm definitely sure we're done. Been doing some adding up and it's looking pretty definite. Of course, there's the occasional phone call or text. But I can't see this ever happening again. Those first couple weeks, I hardly wanted to function. I had no idea what to do with myself. It was hard to even wake up. It's pretty heart wrenching. You get out of bed and put on a smile and try to pretend that it's real.

I honestly can say that My friend Made my life a little easier everyday. I owe him a ton. He joked and Made Me sMile. He Made Me feel like a huMan again. A huMan with a backbone and a life. He made me look forward to each day. Waking up with a text Message or a picture Message to Make Me sMile. When you are in your darkest hour, all you need is someone to Make you love the life you are living, again. He heard my SOS. He brought Me back to loving Myself. Making me feel that I aM worth something and Made Me feel a little stronger about my decision. He was My crutch and support. You really forget all that you are worth, when caught up in someone else's life. True love is taking care of those around you. Even if they aren't there.

A many thanks to that friend. <3



<3 Angela

Possessive.

Does anyone else get a little possessive? MINE! MINE! MINE!


Gimme! Gimme! right?!

I'm that way. I can't seem to let go of my grasp. Consistency? No. Probably obsessive. But obsessive is good, right? So long as it's good for you.

Dang. Maybe got me there.

Every *chingle* I hear, I FLINCH or jump-- and snap to my phone.

A girl can dream, right? Now only if the caller ringtone would ring... waaah waaaahhhh...

I can't help it. I really wish it was the other way around in my life. You can say all the right things. You can be the right person. But for some reason, you just aren't the first. Lets stop that thought.

Lets stay on track.

Today, I was working and my first client. VERY FIRST! Tells me that I should never go blonde again. I don't make a good blonde. UM! Hello! I'm a natural blonde so how about <><@(&^#(! &#&^@()!*%!)__!)*#^^#((( YOU!!!!!

Yeah, Exactly. On a lighter note, I got some fat tips today. I can't believe how generous everyone is! All of my clients are so fantastic! I absolutely love seeing them. They give me cookies and wine and tips! OH TIS THE SEASON! :D Those cookies never really last long, though. I usually don't even have a chance to try them. They usually disappear as soon as I drop them on the counter. Well, hey! At least I won't have the fat BOOOONTAAAY after the new year. Right on!


How is everyone's week?

I must sleep now.

TTFN!

<3 Angela