What about anxiety? I think I've experienced both in my lifetime. Is it pleasant? Not really. I went and saw a movie recently. I had such an emotional connection to the story that I started to get an unsettling feeling. When I started to remember the story I began to get a flicker of anxiety.
With all the new events in my life, I can't help but feel that it was a sign. If my body is telling me something negative, it's telling me what I need to do. Eliminate it in my life. When I eliminated this part of my life, I expected my anxiety to immediately lift off my shoulders. It didn't. But I can't say that I'm surprised. Any change in life has the capability of causing even more anxiety.
I've done some soul searching. Figuring out what I want out of life and who I would like in it. I'm feeling bi-polar. Every hour I'm changing my mind and looking for an answer. Even looking for someone to tell me what to do. I've chalked up a lot of experience in my life of who to trust. I'm hesitant to talk to anyone. I have things on my chest that I need to say out loud.
I really can't.
I think I'm finally starting to relax. Stopped worrying about everyone else. Started feeling some relief in my life again. Is it that my comfort was dependent? I think it was, to be honest.
Every day I can't help but think how things were incredibly different 2 weeks ago. Thinking it is the best thing. I'm back and forth back and forth. But it's not worth the worry. I'll forever have memories and have the good memories first.
I'm alone and feeling happy about it. There you are.
ttfn
angela
...I won't soothe your pain
I won't ease your strain
You'll be waiting in vain
I got nothing for you to gain...
No comments:
Post a Comment